If I pull into a Safeway parking lot and see someone with their little table stationed in front of the entrance, I'll use the other entrance. If someone is stationed there as well, I'll go hungry. I didn't come to Trader Joe's for a newspaper subscription. I came for ginger snaps. But as the Holiday wave begins to gain steam and rush toward shore I'm bombarded with more and more and more people peddling needless crap or asking for donations. As Black Friday approaches my regularly panhandlin' free suburbia is slowly being infiltrated by people looking for handouts. Little do they know that I'm living without a paycheck.
Due to this lack of funds and a childhood fear of bums, panhandlers, and the entire population of our nation's homeless, I tend to shy away from situations where I may have to say anything to anyone I deem may be trying to get something from me. But I was accosted yesterday on my way into a store. A woman came up to me and she looked normal enough. No crazy mismatched shoes, or nicotine fingers, just a nice lady. She said excuse me and stuck out her hand. The sight of her extended hand immediately put me into the defensive. I must have looked it because she then told me she wouldn't bite. To which I kindly responded, "You better not bite or we are moving into a whole different level of awkward interaction." She then introduced herself and asked if she could get some money for her daughter (who was nowhere to be seen) and herself. I said, "Sorry. I can't help," and quickly walked away.
So I'm not in the Black Friday spirit apparently, but I don't appreciate people tricking me into thinking they have a simple question like "How do I get to KFC from here?" or "Where did you get that extremely good looking stocking cap?" and then trying to infest my hands with germs and take the dwindling dollars of my unemployment check.
This may come back to haunt me when the unemployment checks run out and California is still drowning in people without jobs, but until that day (when I'm in the Target parking lot asking for change) I'll stick by my guns that the boy scout selling popcorn, the guy offering free newspapers, the large lady looking for food, and the sketchy dude collecting for the homeless children's center are all out to kidnap me.
When asked by my wife this morning what day it was I proudly responded "It's 11/11!" She kindly corrected me that that was two days ago. After a few more moments of serious consideration I figured out it was Friday the 13th. I usually don't care much about a Friday the 13th, but being unemployed this Friday the 13th has already seen a few strange occurrences. 
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