I was doing some research for work yesterday (seriously) and I found this photo. I promptly sent it to everyone I know as I think it is the most hilarious thing produced on the Internet in the past five minutes.

Home Again

Over the past couple weeks (as my previous entry stated) I've been driving around the south west like a prospector lost in the hills.

The first trip was 2,359 miles. This started in San Francisco, went through Phoenix, up to Flagstaff, over to Albuquerque, back to Flagstaff via Los Lunas, then back home.

The second trip was only 1,291 miles. I flew to Denver and from there drove west through Colorado to Carbondale. From Carbondale it was on to Salt Lake City and Elko, then through Reno and back home.

My total mileage was about 3,650. That is the equivalent of a coast-to-coast road trip. How did I only manage to hit six states in 3,650 miles? Coast-to-coast I would have doubled that number. I did see some great parts of the country and got to spend a lot of time with some great family, but I also discovered the fact that I am not cut out to be a trucker. Sure they get to eat at all those great truck stops and wear awesome hats and frequent "gentlemen's" clubs and honk their horns at little kids, but I can pull all that off in my little Civic around the Bay.

ROAD TRIP!!!! (no thanks)

After a trip from San Francisco to Phoenix to Albuquerque to San Francisco last week and a trip from Oakland to Denver (via plane) to Carbondale to Salt Lake City to Reno to San Francisco this week I am officially done road tripping for the summer. After this week is over I'm losing my car keys. Holy crap.

Plus my road trips did not contain any Tom Green, huge car jumps, prostate exams, marijuana frat parties, scoring with a very experienced large lady at said frat party, or a naked Amy Smart. I might be more apt to keep my keys in hand if one or any of those popped up on my travels through the West.

Hee

This Macaque wins at life.
He's been helping me write my list of goals, but needed a break from the tedium.

Megan Fox Don't Care Bout You!

Megan! MEGAN! Look at me! I've cultivated this rosa berberifolia for you! It's beauty does not match yours, but I hope you will find it sufficient! I need you to come back and see my Transformers collection! It is more than meets the eye! I promise! I PROMISE! MEGAN!!!! WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!!????

Taylor Swift Featuring T-Pain

Oh Taylor Swift, you are hilarious. This is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. I will pass it to all my friends and let them know of its hilariousness with the hopes that it becomes viral further rocketing you into the stratosphere and millionaires.

And T-Pain, I'm extremely disappointed in you.

The Unemployed Goal List

To do:

1. Make coffee - check

2. Finish list of goals -

3. Profit -

Why Billy?!

I once LOVED the Smashing Pumpkins. I thought everything Billy Corgan did was next to godliness. I lived and breathed Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when it came out. I still own and prize The Aeroplane Flies High box set (and I still listen to it). But with Billy's increasing rage against fans who want to hear some Smashing Pumpkins songs in lieu of the crap Corgan is trying to pass off as Smashing Pumpkins songs and his apparent selling-out to TNA (really Billy?) he's quickly falling from that special place he has held in my heart for so many years.

Fellow Hi Liners, I give you exhibit A:

Happy Anniversary!

I'm ready for my cake please. Today is my three-week anniversary of being unemployed! Isn't that exciting? But who knew that being unemployed is almost more work than being employed. Between job searching, unemployment, COBRA (what level of Dante's Inferno was COBRA conceived on?), 401k rollovers, and my new house frau duties I'm busier than I ever was in the 9-to-5.

In an effort to keep some kind of money rolling in I took an odd job from my wife's uncle. He is an antique car collector, although none of his antique

cars are in running order. What he needed was someone to drive to Phoenix, then to Albuquerque, then back to San Francisco. So he says to himself, "Who do I know that doesn't have a job?" And the answer was me.

So I take him up on his offer and hit the road. The first day was no sweat. 11 hours in a car to Phoenix wasn't bad. The next day started off as no sweat. Six hours in the car to Albuquerque (with a 4:00 a.m. departure) wasn't too bad either. After picking up said uncle at the Albuquerque airport, picking up a U-haul trailer, and then picking up an antique jalopy from a pack of good-ol-boys 30 miles south of Albuquerque we finally hit the road home. As we're driving the uncle keeps commenting on the trailer's amazing fishtail abilities. He thinks it's just the speed we're going (who doesn't go 75mph with a loaded car trailer behind them?). Around 20 minutes later a women pulls along side us and starts yelling and pointing at the trailer. We pull off the road to find out what her fuss was about and discover that one of the trailer tires has blown. The fishtail mystery is solved.

I did not get a picture of our actual blown tire, but it looked something like this one I found on another blog.

Now begins the downhill slide of our story. We wait for U-haul's emergency service to bring a new tire. Three hours later we're fixed and back on the road. Three hours of sitting on the side of Interstate 40 in New Mexico. Most fun ever! We get back to Flagstaff at midnight, get lost trying to find the hotel, attempt to barter with the late check-in clerk for beer (unsuccessfully) and promptly fall asleep.

I had never been so ready to be out of a car in my entire life. 

Welcome to the Hi Line

Welcome to my home away from home. I used to live on the actual Hi-Line in North Central, Montana, but now I just go there vicariously through my blog. Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to stay as long as you want. The Hi Line is always open and I'm usually here watching bad movies, listening to awesome music, drinking room temperature coffee, and planning my next campaign to retain my seat as mayor.